SemiCharmed Life
by Lai Jun Chen
Summary: Kanda was cold as ice and Allen was the cure. They fall in love because of their differences and their similarities, because they're both a little broken.: A record of falling and some of their 'firsts.' Rated M, just to be safe, for explicit implication


This is another Kanda/Allen fic. It starts with them falling in love and moves on to some of their 'firsts.' It has most of the lyrics to A Semi-Charmed life, but, hjust as mant of my other song-fics, the lyrics don't always correspond with the story. I hope you read this and that you like it.

I own nothing.

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><p><strong>Semi-Charmed Life<strong>

**By: **Third Eye Blind

_I'm packed and I'm holding  
>I'm smiling, she's living, she's golden<br>She lives for me, says she lives for me  
>Ovation, her own motivation<em>

_And I make her smile, like a drug for you  
>Do ever what you wanna do, coming over you<br>Keep on smiling, what we go through  
>One stop to the rhythm that divides you<em>

Allen Walker was like sunshine and everyone knew it, even the ice-burg Kanda Yuu. The younger boy's sunny, golden personality was actually why Kanda was drawn to him. He was cold as ice and Allen was the cure.

Though he'd never tell anyone, _ever_, he had trouble remembering how he'd managed to continue _living_ without the younger teen. How had he been able to live without the boy who lived for everyone else, even him- the anti-social, cruel bastard that he was?

He was even more confused as to why Allen wanted him as a significant other. Truly, it made no sense. What did this young martyr see in him that warranted such love, desire, and devotion? The answer eluded him and, likely, always would.

For so many years Kanda Yuu had been an angry, miserable human being who both longed for and dreaded his death. Suddenly, saintly, broken Allen Walker had entered his life and he couldn't help but long to live, if for no other reason than to keep the white haired teen form crying, yet again, over his demise.

What was it about the boy that made Kanda so desire to inspire joy and truly sincere smiles?

_And I speak to you like the chorus to the verse  
>Chop another line like a coda with a curse<br>Come on like a freak show takes the stage _

_We give them the games we play, she said...  
><em>

_I want something else, to get me through this  
>Semi-charmed kinda life, baby, baby<br>I want something else,_

He was so very cursed. After all, in a roundabout sort of way he was part Akuma, just as the Third Exorcists, because of Mana's curse: Cursed to a life of servitude, and sacrifice, and redemption. Cursed 'til death- and perhaps even after.

Cursed as he was he barely believed he deserved the true, human joy of love. Besides, who would want him? Believing that he was deserving of no one certainly didn't keep him from falling in love. He'd had a few crushes over the years, but nothing of real note. However, it was impossible for him to keep from falling in love with his Samurai companion. Kanda's beauty inspired lust and his broken, angsty, emo, guarded, off-standish yet protective and caring personality drew Allen in like nothing and no one else ever had.

Kanda was the embodiment of conflict and conflict was what Allen always had, and always would be mired in. He had come to greatly love conflict because that was the only thing in his life that had ever been consistent. He also loved consistency and it just so happened that Kanda Yuu was the _epitome_ of consistency. He could predict Kanda's reactions and movements the way one could predict the course of the sun.

These things in mind, the best question was: 'How could Allen _not_ fall in love with Kanda?' The obvious answer was that not loving Kanda was just as impossible as Allen coming to deserve the returned love of his dark haired companion.

_The sky was gold, it was rose  
>I was taking sips of it through my nose<br>And I wish I could get back there, someplace back there  
>Smiling in the pictures you would take<em>

For their first 'date,' Kanda took Allen to the roof of the Order and taught him about the constellations he'd become fascinated by when he'd finally been let out of the Asian Branch. From then on, whenever one of them became stressed, or upset, or simply wanted to be alone they met on the roof.

The first time they fell asleep while star gazing they woke to find themselves covered in a few blankets. At first they thought that it had been Lenalee's doing. When they found an envelope full of pictures of them curled together in those same blankets they were certain that it had actually been the evil, baka Usagi. Kanda was pleased to learn that the Usagi had been admitted to the infirmary later that day, more so because he hadn't been the one to put him there. His Allen had a violent streak of his own, when the situation warranted it.

For the second date Allen had taken Kanda into the countryside and showed him all the plants he knew, most of which were edible. Plants had become so important in his life, most especially the edible ones he could scrounge up when he was only an orphaned child, alone and desperate.

Kanda had been wary the first time he cooked for him. His Samurai had thought he wasn't capable of creating food, only devouring it. After their first meal, Kanda started to eat things other than soba, if only rarely.

_It won't stop, I won't come down  
>I keep stock with the tick-tock rhythm, I bump for the drop<br>And then I bumped up, I took the hit that I was given_

_How do I get back there, to the place where I fell asleep inside you  
>How do I get myself back to the place where you said...<em>

The first time they made love it was all fumbling limbs and tentative exploration. Allen knew the mechanics of sex between two men (with Cross he'd been to every brothel between England and China, after all), but had never experienced it and Kanda had simply never had carnal thoughts before Allen came along and had only a vague idea of what he was doing. It was awkward, sweet and uncertain.

The act was repeated several more times that day and night and became increasingly fluid and comfortable. After that, they didn't seem able to keep their hands off each other. Their open affection made Lavi squeamish and Lenalee squeal in joy. The rest of the Order decided to simply give the couple their space.

_I want something else, to get me through this  
>Semi-charmed kinda life, baby, baby<br>I want something else, I'm not listening when you say good-bye  
><em>

The first time Allen attempted to protect his lover from an attack he was promptly hit upside the head by said lover and then ignored for the rest of the day. Later that night, Kanda barged into his room, punched him in the jaw before throwing him on the bed and then crushing him in a hug. Kanda reprimanded and Allen apologized, but they didn't get out of bed into late the next morning.

No matter what happened between the two of them, no matter how much Kanda yelled or how remorseful Allen felt, they both knew that the white haired teen would pull the same stunt again. Allen could be predictable, too.

_I believe in the faith that grows  
>And the four right chords can make me cry<br>When I'm with you I feel like I could die  
>And that would be all right, all right<br>_

The first time Allen said 'I love you' he could have sworn Kanda's eyes became a bit liquid. He couldn't be sure because a moment later was holding him as if he would disappear any moment. Allen repeated the phrase often, especially when Kanda seemed more anger or distant than usual.

The first time Kanda said 'I love you' Allen did cry, not at all bothered to let his lover see how happy he was at such a proclamation. Kanda repeated the phrase sparingly, usually when he thought his Allen looked as though the weight of the world was too much to bear and needed the comfort most.

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><p>Honestly, I don't think it's all that exceptional, but please tell me what you think- even if you think it's boring or horrible, or anything!<p>

Thank you for reading!


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